Suspension of Disbelief
by amaXdear
Summary: “You know the year when you’ve realized that Santa doesn’t exist, but you pretend to anyway because it’s less fun carrying your own presents up from the basement? That’s my life. But not yours. You get to believe in Santa.” Kurt/Quinn friendship


"This is the girl's room."

"Relax. The boy's bathroom smells like piss; I'm just here to fix my makeup."

He doesn't turn away from the mirror, where he is re-applying a delicate layer of cover-up. She stands just inside the doorway to imply that this conversation is simple, and does not require too much effort on her part.

"Look, I don't have a problem with you being gay, but Finn's not, and he's not going to leave me, so do yourself a favor and stop hitting on my boyfriend."

There is a quiver in her cool voice that betrays her anger and insecurity. He puts the makeup down and looks at her in the mirror.

"You're right. Finn's not gay. You have nothing to worry about."

He can see her relief.

"But I'm not going to stop being in love with him--"

"You're not in love with him!"

"--And I'm not going to stop flirting with him. I'm not even going to stop convincing myself that I have a chance."

It is silent as she controls her anger.

"Why not?"

He turns around to look her in the eye.

"You know the year when you've realized that Santa doesn't exist, but you pretend to anyway because it's less fun carrying your own presents up from the basement? That's my life. But not yours. You get to believe in Santa."

"_What_?"

He sighs.

"Come on. You know how attractive he is. He's nice, he's athletic, and his stupidity only adds to his charm."

"Yeah, so?"

"So I might as well have a crush on him, right? Why settle for less than the hottest guy in school?"

Her eyes narrow in a way that is meant to be intimidating. He is not phased--or at least, he doesn't show it. Even her condescending tone doesn't affect him.

"Why don't you just find a nice gay guy so you can have him all to yourself? Trust me, real boyfriends are a lot better than imaginary ones."

"How many of those have you seen running around here?"

"I heard that ten percent--"

"Please, that number's been floating around for years. Some people say 47 percent of people are gay, others say two percent. I've learned not to rely on statistics."

"Whatever. McKinley's a big school."

"I know. I've lived here my whole life, and so have most of the students. If there _are_ any gay kids, no one's going to come out." He turns back to the mirror and begins to style his hair and straighten his clothes. "They've seen how fags are treated at this school."

She is stunned into silence. Her mouth opens automatically, but she doesn't know what to say. In an almost unconscious movement, she steps forward, and says, "You shouldn't call yourself that."

"No, I shouldn't," he agrees with a shrug. "No one should ever call me that, or write it on my locker, or call my dad anonymously and scare him with it. But it happens. Reality's a bitch, isn't it?"

There is a wry grin on his face, and suddenly she gets it.

"You're just pretending until you get out of here alive," she said slowly. He nods.

"Just like you are. In the theater, we call that 'willful suspension of disbelief.'" Satisfied with his appearance, he turns away and steps closer to her. His face is gentler than she has ever seen it. "So I'm not going to steal Finn, and I promise I won't even try too hard. To be fair, I never said anything bad about you… well, I implied that you were a girl, but I think he already knew that."

Her lips twitch in a smile, and he touches her elbow.

"And I'm sincerely sorry that I persuaded him to sing that song. I didn't think that would happen."

She rarely makes impulsive decisions, but now she hugs him tightly. He only shows a little bit of concern over the wrinkles she is creating, and hugs her back. She sniffles a little.

"Thanks," she whispers. Then she clears her throat, and speaks louder. "I'm sorry for cornering you and all--it's these damn mood swings."

"It's alright," he says. There is a tiny note in his voice that says it's not _really_ alright, and he will never understand why some boys would dedicate their lives to moody, hormonal women, and it feels very awkward to have her breasts pressed against him. "Would you like some advice?"

She nodded into his chest, and sniffled again.

"I could really use some good advice right now."

"Stop cutting him out. No matter how hormonal you get, he's going to stay with you because he _loves_ your daughter. He's perversely excited to be a dad."

There is something in the way he says 'your' that makes her head jerk up.

"Why did you say it like that?"

"Hm?"

They make eye contact. There is something in his face that says 'I know your secret' and 'I didn't know, I was guessing' and 'I don't even know what you're talking about' all at the same time. She shakes her head.

"Never mind."

"Hang in there," he says with a bright, genuine smile, giving her a friendly pat on the back. He hoists his bag onto his shoulder, and pulls away.

"Thanks, Kurt," she says as he heads out the door.

"Goodbye, Quinn."


End file.
